Resolutions from the 2022 meeting of the American Society of Parasitologists
2022 Resolutions Committee: Ben Hanelt, Agustín Jiménez, and Jillian Detwiler
Augustín: Mientras que los miembros de la Sociedad Americana de Parasitólogos emergieron de sus encierros y tras dos años se reencontraron en College Station, Texas, donde disfrutaron de un congreso inolvidable organizado por el comité local (Charles Criscione, Christina Anaya, Tamara Cook, Kristin Herrman, Jessica Light, and Guilherme Gomes Verocai), quienes se encargaron que la comida y bebida fluyeran como El Grande y fueron atendidos por personal eficiente y cortéz.
Jill: And whereas Program Officers Maria Castillo and Judith Humphires assembled an impressive number of 135 abstracts into a 3.5 day program at The George and Cavalry hotels in College Station where it was so hot, it wouldn't register on a heat map and snails were turning into jerky on the spot.
Ben: And whereas residents of The George found themselves delighted by sheep that showed a range of personalities and interests.
Augustín: And whereas the local organizing committee made of Charles Criscione, Christina Anaya, Tamara Cook, Kristin Herrman, Jessica Light, and Guilherme Gomes Verocai ensured that the rooms and the venue were comfortable and that the coffee, beer, wine, margaritas and finger foods flowed freely. Jill: And whereas we discovered that the hotel's DJ was no match for Charles Criscione and his right hand woman Miranda for ensuring that the Ecology and Evolution session on Day 1 was not out competed by the hotel's DJ blasting "One of these Nights" by the Eagles. As the lyrics of the song say "he'll find you one of these nights!"
Ben: And whereas, although we appreciated being back to a live meeting in College Station, we missed the comforts of the virtual meeting: Zooming in from home, staying in our pajamas, being able to switch off our cameras to make microwave popcorn, and skipping the deodorant. Augustín: And whereas Matt Bolek's students cringed at the thought of him "in the Driver's Seat", his tenure as President was pretty sweet. Jill: And whereas the student symposium included 3 speakers who provided valuable information on how to use art and story, that graduate school will end in hero's glory, and reiterated that like graduate supervisors, artists don't like to work with people who plan their time poorly. Ben: And whereas the Student Auction raised $9,575 that included large sums being spent on cartoons of parasitologists recovering their precious worms in the bathroom as well as an intense battle for a mandala where an undergraduate emerged as the winner. We hope he gets a travel grant next year!
Augustín: And whereas there were more Yellow Cards raised during Student Auction than during the Netherlands vs USA World Championship match. Jill: And whereas the President's Symposium reminded us that if we think like parasites, it could mean that we are brainless and that it is good to stop and take the time to appreciate weird stuff. Ben: And whereas the participants and members of the American Society of Parasitologists came once again well prepared and full of enthusiasm to deliver fascinating information on:
Pet owner's heartworm biases; shot-in-the arm to sink schistosomiasis
Zombie ants that don't latch on; wild-caught asian tiger prawn
Hopper gregarines from the Midwest; putting venereal transmission to the test
Physid snails as sentinels; hosts from the Yucatan with tentacles
Chemical cues in freshwater snails; large cement gland in Neo-echino-rhynchus males Parasites in bison herds; Eimeria in gecko turds Trematode mating system dynamics, and intramolluscan trematode antics Birds hitting windows with great big splat; parasite inspiration from our President Matt
Augustín: And whereas, the membership of the ASP met in cosmopolitan College Station, Texas to learn how Gyrodactilids mingle with social hosts and emerge from virgin births, a mode fully endorsed by the Republic's Legislature. Jill: And whereas the membership was sent through a spiraling vortex of snail taxonomic vicissitudes, followed by details on what snail invasions include, they were further subjected to pin-ball games, in which the mighty nematomorph cyst to paratenic snail hosts takes aim. Ben: And whereas we look forward to bringing ASP back to the home of its first annual meeting site next year in Kansas City, Missouri (seriously... Check the back of your programs). We know next year's meeting will be filled with bar-b-que, baseball, and boulevard beer.
Augustín: Y mientras que el arduo trabajo de infatigables parasitólogos resultó en la documentación de alimañas, caracoles, insectos y parásitos que trascienden más allá de las áridas llanuras de la América del Norte.
Jill: Let it be resolved that the 93nd annual meeting of the American Society of Parasitologists was a heat stroking, barbeque smoking, pool soaking, toads croaking, President Bolek not smoking, thought provoking, despite rights revoking, success.